Robbed

Okay, so you know how my last entry was about turning a new leaf and not letting anything bring me down...well so much for that inspiration. Yesterday, you could say was one of the worst days of my life. I know people, including myself tend to over-react and say "Ugh! today was the worst day of my entire life!", and then the next week we say exactly the same thing. But yesterday, was the worst day of my life. First I started off by being late to class. Then I forgot to turn the radio on for my dog while we were away. These sound a bit ridiculous don't they? Well, when we got home, we found my dog outside of the house and my bedroom window broken. We were robbed. They took everything. Honestly I do not care if they took my laptop, Plasma TV, Nikon D40, and jewelry but the fact that they left my dog outside in the freezing cold pisses me off. Another thing that these ridiculous retards did which grinds my gears, is that they took my deodorant, body wash and cheap wireless mouse. These fools are nut jobs. They not only came to my home and stole my electronics but they were shopping. I believe that they even pondered in taking the fabric softener and laundry detergent, since they were in my living room and not in the laundry room. I am not sad to see all these things go since I am not materialistic in any way. If anything this gives me less things to move when I move out this weekend. No I am not moving out because of the thievery; my move was already planned. However, these ignorant, low-life, immoral, gangster wanna-be's, did make me ultra mad since they took my pictures. My memory card. My personal, private, praised memories. Pictures that defined me. That showed my love for nature. Pictures which showed that my family does get along and love each other. Pictures that showed I was obsessed with taking Myspace/Facebook pictures.

I do not care if these people were worse off than me financially. I know that KARMA is a bitch and they will get theirs one hundred times over. Just like my brother said these guys fucked me in the ass, they will be fucked over worse than I ever was and without Vaseline.

You know how people are always saying well God does it for a reason, well I hope that he has a GREAT reason for this because if not then my belief in Him will end abruptly. I had started to open up once again but this was too far. I cannot keep placing my faith in someone who always lets me down. I know they say that He does it to lets us learn but what the hell am I supposed to learn something like this? To lock my doors? Because I did. To close and bolt my windows? Because I did. To keep faith in someone who will protect my house when I leave it open? Because that will not happen.

I do thank God that I am moving away from all this crap, because then maybe I will give MYSELF a better life. He has not done anything to better my life in the past three years, despite doing everything necessary to lead a better life. It's all bull.

a new leaf

Have you ever listened to a song and realized that you were wasting your time doing something else, or thinking about irrelevant things? I have. And I believe it is one the greatest feelings of liberation and revelation ever. I have not created a new post, since I felt like my world was collapsing. I mean, it was nearing Christmas and I felt emptier than a depressed Mexican eating stale left over Chinese food from the night before. (which i have done, ironically). I did not want to keep writing depressing, emotional blogs that after reading, made you feel like you also wanted to shut the world out. I was on a road trip with my mom and this is where I realized that life is more important than sitting in my room and wondering what went wrong. I understand that life threw me a curve ball, but it is hard to accept. It was a rejection that I was not willing to take. But feeling the cold Southwest wind caress my bare legs and the sun kiss my cheeks, I understood that THAT was much more important. Nature indeed helped me to open my eyes and take in the grandeur. I was listening to Coldplay while this happened. Lovers in Japan to be exact. The lyrics I will forever remember, since it was these that lifted me from the hole in which I stood.

"Lovers, keep on the road you're on
Runners, until the race is run
Soldiers, you've got to soldier on
Sometimes even right is wrong
They are turning my head out
To see what I'm all about
Keeping my head down
To see what it feels like now
But I have no doubt
One day, we are gonna get out
Tonight maybe we're gonna run
Dreaming of the Osaka sun
Ohh ohh...
Dreaming of when the morning comes
They are turning my head out
To see what I'm all about
Keeping my head down
To see what it feels like now
But I have no doubt One day the sun will come out "


I know I have a long way to go but I do have no doubt that I will not be in the dark for long. I am taking my left turn today. I have learned to accept what has happened, but I will absolutely not smile about it. I am just eighteen years old and I feel like my world has been turned upside down more than once. Another curve ball may and will be thrown at me during this life, but I intend to swing with all my might. I have had my first strike but I am still not out of the game. My brother has helped me to feel this way. He has helped me to embrace what will come. My chapters keep getting written, but the epilogue is far away. I am simply turning over a new leaf for the New Year. Happy 2009.