Pumpkin Pie

Yeah I know, you must be thinking, "'pumpkin pie,' did she really title her blog that?" Why yes I did! And with good reason!
My favorite season is here and with that comes the great pumpkin pie season. As well as Halloween, Thanksgiving and the changing of the leaves. Ahh, those leaves. I don't know what fascinates me so much about them, but the fact that they change for a new season is something inspirational. The trees change their leaves to prepare for what comes. And I think we should be like those trees. We are capable of changing and we are capable of preparing for the future.
I honestly, seriously, really do not know why I love Autumn so much. It's more that just the leaves changing. Everything changes. The weather changes, the smell changes, and even we change. I say we but I mean me. With all these changes I feel like the world is beckoning me to change with her. I can't be same as before. I have to find a way to be a better a person and a different person. A new season brings forth new hopes and dreams. It's not only New Year where we can make resolutions to be better. So far life has been great and I already have many expectations for this month. I bought my Halloween costume, planned the yearly bonfire for later this month and hope to be places I would previously would have never been.
Fall is usually my new years. Why are we going to go with the status quo. The whole point of that is to break away and do something different.
Oh man that pumpkin pie is calling my name. This is the only season I can fully enjoy a slice without the guilt. And every bit I take from that pie, I get closer to changing myself for the better. I get closer to happiness, and I get closer to accomplishing my goals. Fall is the time where usually everything starts and not new years in the winter. In the fall, everything changes, families get together for Thanksgiving, kids enjoy Halloween and there is just a sense of warmth and happiness despite getting close to the deadness of winter.
Wherever you are at and whatever season you like, just embrace the fall and let it change you. While you're at it, have a wonderful, generously tasteful slice of Pumpkin Pie!

Realistically

Realistically, I can't get back to my dream place until I have had a job for at least a year and saved enough funds. But, the thing is that I am desperate to go back. I've been here for 10 months now, and it's starting to hit me that I did not do everything possible to stay where I needed to be. However I have my mind set on going back to NM and I will accomplish that when I can. In the meantime I have to be content with getting my bachelors somewhere else.
I really hate living in this desert hell, and I am not used to the lifelessness of it all. True, NM is nowhere near a wannabe Los Angeles, but I felt like a different person there, & it was there that I learned how to be independent, stronger and more confident. How can I not want to go back to the place that made me into that woman? I know I don't have the funds but I do have enough want to get back there.
There are days where I want to give up on the that dream but I refuse to let that happen. I have to constantly remind myself that my goals will bring me happiness and a better life. Why would I want to give up on that? No, I must keep moving forward; and, I have to realize that Life is tough and there will be days when I want to give up on everything. However, it is up to me and only me to place all that negativity into a bottle and chuck into the ocean and hope it never flows back to shore. I have learned to be more patient and take it one day at a time rather than having a whole week attack me. I am not sure when I will accomplish my dream yet again, but the reality that I have accomplished it before lets me have exponential hope for the future. Aside from all this I have become a more positive person, and I so eternally grateful to all the people who helped me to cope. I know I may not show it, but rest assured I know who those people are.
The point that I am trying to make is that over time, it gets easier to cope and patience is something that can either make you or break you. So far this whole waiting period has made me stronger. Don't think that because you didn't get what you wanted in the first place, it's never going to happen- rather, think that because you haven't gotten what you want YET time has given you an opportunity to prepare for it.