Realistically

Realistically, I can't get back to my dream place until I have had a job for at least a year and saved enough funds. But, the thing is that I am desperate to go back. I've been here for 10 months now, and it's starting to hit me that I did not do everything possible to stay where I needed to be. However I have my mind set on going back to NM and I will accomplish that when I can. In the meantime I have to be content with getting my bachelors somewhere else.
I really hate living in this desert hell, and I am not used to the lifelessness of it all. True, NM is nowhere near a wannabe Los Angeles, but I felt like a different person there, & it was there that I learned how to be independent, stronger and more confident. How can I not want to go back to the place that made me into that woman? I know I don't have the funds but I do have enough want to get back there.
There are days where I want to give up on the that dream but I refuse to let that happen. I have to constantly remind myself that my goals will bring me happiness and a better life. Why would I want to give up on that? No, I must keep moving forward; and, I have to realize that Life is tough and there will be days when I want to give up on everything. However, it is up to me and only me to place all that negativity into a bottle and chuck into the ocean and hope it never flows back to shore. I have learned to be more patient and take it one day at a time rather than having a whole week attack me. I am not sure when I will accomplish my dream yet again, but the reality that I have accomplished it before lets me have exponential hope for the future. Aside from all this I have become a more positive person, and I so eternally grateful to all the people who helped me to cope. I know I may not show it, but rest assured I know who those people are.
The point that I am trying to make is that over time, it gets easier to cope and patience is something that can either make you or break you. So far this whole waiting period has made me stronger. Don't think that because you didn't get what you wanted in the first place, it's never going to happen- rather, think that because you haven't gotten what you want YET time has given you an opportunity to prepare for it.